Lydia: A Heart that Sought Out God & Community

" And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25 (CSB)

Do you ever feel lonely? Are you someone who desires community? As a young adult who's moved a lot in the past several years, I've certainly have felt this way.

I've been there on a Friday night, alone and depressed in my apartment wishing I had somewhere to be and someone to do anything with.

I've been there during a holiday season wishing I had someone to go out with but only having a friend who lived 300 miles away.

So if you've ever felt that way—even if just for a day—read on and be encouraged (and challenged!) by a woman, named Lydia, who sought out and stayed connected with a community of like-minded believers:

"From Troas we [Luke, Paul, Silas, and companions] put out to sea and sailed straight for Samothrace, the next day to Neapolis, and from there to Philippi, a Roman colony and a leading city of the district of Macedonia. We stayed in that city for several days. On the Sabbath day we went outside the city gate by the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer. We sat down and spoke to the women gathered there. A God-fearing woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, was listening. The Lord opened her heart to respond to what Paul was saying. After she and her household were baptized, she urged us, “If you consider me a believer in the Lord, come and stay at my house.” And she persuaded us." Acts 16:11-15, 40 (CSB, emphasis added)

The story of Lydia is a beautiful reminder of how taking action and seeking out community can bring refreshment and blessing to our souls. Not only did she have friends and family surrounding her, but because she chose to show up that morning, she had experienced unbelievable opportunities: she heard the Apostle Paul teach, she was baptized, and she got to open up her home to travelers in need.

Lydia was a Greek woman working in the bustling Roman colony of Philippi during the 1st century. Scripture tells us that she was a merchant—”a dealer in purple cloth” (Acts 16:14). The author of Acts also identifies her as a “worshiper of God” (NIV) or a “God-fearing woman” (Acts 16:14, CSB). This title is given to people in Scripture who were Gentile by birth– not of Jewish decent – yet embraced the Jewish faith.

In this passage of Acts, we see that Lydia was gathered with other women at the riverside on Sabbath. This was their way of gathering to worship God. Even though they did not have a building – or a synagogue – to meet in, these women still gathered together to pray.

Even before Hebrews 10:25 was written to instruct us to not neglect to gather together, Lydia and her friends understood their need to do so.

As someone who has experienced a lot of transitions over the past several years, I can assure you that gathering together with a community—especially with like-minded Christians—is vitally important for all aspects of your health: spiritual, mental, and emotional.

The Lord’s commands and instructions in Hebrews 10 are reason enough for us to see the value of having Christian community – if only for the sake of our souls (1 Timothy 4:8).

Immediately after the Lord’s instructions to remember to meet together for the sake of encouraging one another, the author of Hebrews boldly states,

"For if we deliberately go on sinning after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire about to consume the adversaries. Anyone who disregarded the law of Moses died without mercy, based on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment do you think one will deserve who has trampled on the Son of God, who has regarded as profane the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?" Hebrews 10:26-29 (CSB)

Neglecting community is the best way to live in isolation. Living in isolation is the best way to live in sin.

By consistently meeting and spending time with brothers and sisters in Christ, we can keep ourselves in the light and can be kept accountable to live as Christ did—a life free of sin.

Sin is a stain upon our soul. A nasty, self-absorbed lie that keeps our focus and worth away from God our Savior, Father, King, and friend.

If we are stuck living in sin, our mental and emotional health suffers. If you haven’t experienced this yourself then trust me when I say this is true.

In the past four years, I have moved three times. Once to a new college, then to a new town, and then back home. Moving is hard. Starting over is hard. You have to find a new job, a new church, new places to shop, new rhythms to life, and most importantly you have to find new friends.

The latter is the most difficult. In the last two places that I’ve lived, finding a church and job have been the easy parts – finding friends always takes longer and is more difficult.

When I moved home last August, I felt terribly lonely up for about the first six months. It’s not that I didn't have people to talk to – I had a lot of what I call “people time”— since I lived with my parents, my best friend lives nearby, and I’m a teacher (all of these are still true a year later).

The real struggle has come with feeling like I’ve found “my people” to do life with and to be real with.

If you can relate to that, then let me share a few practical tips with you—ones that I have found to be the most effective:

• PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Tell God how you feel and what you desire most. Spoiler alert: He already knows, He just wants to hear your voice! (Philippians 4:6-7).
• Find a Bible study or Christian small group to attend. I found a young adult Bible study to attend and at the time, it was at a church I wasn't attending on Sunday mornings. While I no longer go this group, I was able to meet a few friends that I still meet up with and see on a regular basis.
• Keep showing up at social gatherings even if you don’t think you want to go. This is a message especially for my fellow introverts. I know you might be peopled-out times, but you still need to be bold, leave your house, and go talk to other human beings! Trust me, your sanity will thank you. Here is an example from my life:
  • One Sunday night a year ago, I almost talked myself out of going to a Bible study because my brother ended up not being able to go and I didn’t want to go by myself (I had only been twice at that point). I finally talked myself into going and I’m so thankful to God that I did.
  • At the end of the night, I ended up connecting with two of the other girls there and planned a coffee date (which was such wonderful social time!). If I had listened to my anxious, introverted self, I would've missed out on this wonderful opportunity to get to know two new friends!
  • And just having the knowledge that I was going to spend time with friends my age, after a long day of teaching little kids, was so refreshing!

Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence. Proverbs 27:9 (TPT)

So let’s take a lesson from Lydia.

Let’s find people to gather with.

People to pray with.

People to worship God with.

Who knows, by finding that community, we might be more blessed by opportunities and refreshed by new friendships than we could ever imagine!